Have you ever trusted someone? I believe that everyone has trusted in something and or someone at one point in their lives. Here’s another question, have you ever trusted yourself? I don’t know about you but I haven’t ever thought about trusting myself until just a few weeks ago. At first, I thought “How do you trust yourself?”. Right after that thought came another followed saying, “You don’t trust yourself Kylee.”
This bothered me. So, I chose to sit with this thought and looked-for ways that I could trust myself. I came to realize that trusting you, the person you are with 100% of the time, is doing things that others do that you recognize as trust. For example, when you trust someone you have an expectation that they will follow through with their word and do that which they have agreed to do. So, with that I learned that I needed to start keeping the agreements that I’ve made with me, however small they may be. Things like getting up on time, or actually making my bed like I said I would. When someone breaks trust it takes work to gain it back, but do we beat others up verbally when they break our trust? If your answer is no, then why do we beat up the person in the mirror up so much? I’ve learned that I truly need to work on building my self-trust back up. When I think of having more self- trust I kind of feel unstoppable and that’s a pretty awesome feeling!
I want to share a quick story of a moment where I learned how to trust myself. I was a youth at Youth For Freedom and we were doing a super awesome simulation. Being blind folded with one egg in one hand and a rope held tightly in the other there were only two rules 1. Don’t break or lose your egg 2. Don’t let go of the rope. We knew that we might get called on to help guide the group and after agreeing to the rules, we started off. After a while I got tapped on the shoulder, getting permission to remove the blindfold and help guide the group. Taking off my blindfold, I let go of the rope, ready to lead from the front and help out. Before I could get to the front, one of the helpers gently told me to put my blindfold back on and I was taken away from the group. This happened two more times and each time I kept getting more and more upset with myself. I did not understand why I was taken away from the group.
During the third time, I was sitting on the ground crying when a counselor started talking to me. When she asked me what the rules where I repeated them and stopped, remembering that I wasn’t to let go of the rope. I finally remembered the rule and got to go back and help lead the group. At the end Jim Rhodes (or Papa Rhodes) talked with us, and I don’t remember anything that he said because I was too busy beating myself up for forgetting one simple rule. As we were handing in our blindfolds Papa Rhodes took my face in his hands looked straight into my eyes and said, “You stop beating yourself up!”. I remember that feeling like it was yesterday!
That day I learned that I can be a leader and now that I look back I know that I can keep my word with myself and build self-trust. I also know that beating ourselves up does only one thing, it keeps us from becoming what we want to be which also keeps us from trusting ourselves. Will you join me in building trust back in who we see in the mirror? I hope so! Let’s be awesome together!