I had an experience recently where I was prompted to find someone in my life who had cried or expressed sadness recently and to talk to this person about the experience.
I was unsure of this prompt. I was coming up with all sorts of personal excuses as to why this would be a less than powerful experience for anyone involved.
I was wrong.
I told myself that “I am afraid to approach a conversation about past grievances”, that “I didn’t want to stir up any ‘negative’ emotions” and that “I want to make people happy.”
Finally, I did it. I had the conversation and please allow me tell you, it was powerful.
In this conversation I got to learn more about this person than I knew. I got more clarity and hope in situations I was vaguely informed on and I got to show up for someone who wanted to be listened to. I have never been someone to bring up sadness or negativity about others from the past but in doing so I got a lot of lessons from it.
I want to share with you some of the lessons that came up:
-We receive what are deepest awareness desires both directly and indirectly.
-Life is always perfectly beautiful; We are the ones who decide when we are ready to see it that way.
-We would rather express negativity than nothing at all. – “Man would rather have the void for his purpose than to be void of purpose” — Friedrich Nietzsche
– Sometimes we need to be alone to grow. ‘We gain a lot more courage walking through the dark alone than with someone we trust.”
– The four agreements, “Be impeccable with your word”, “Don’t make assumptions”, “Don’t take anything personally” and “Do your best”.
Ponder these ideas and share your thoughts.
After speaking for awhile and having so much come up we both felt evolved. We both felt like we had opened new doorways and possibilities. One of the biggest lessons I got from this conversation was that we often need to grow on our own so that we can bring more personal power to our relationships. After I decided I would have this conversation, I decided that it would be powerful and so I did what I had to to co-create it in that manner.
I would encourage you to have a conversation with someone you have recently seen in their sadness, pain or discomfort. Ask them about the experience, ask them how they felt, why they reacted that way and what it did to them. When I asked these questions I felt new levels of trust and care emerge. Our relationship deepened and even though I shared my specific intentions for this conversation before we began with the questions, I got much more out of it than I asked for.
When we have good intentions for others, we have more power to face our fears and we will get more than we asked when the intention is complete.
Go talk to someone, get real, get deep, find new connections and new ways to appreciate someone and afterwards, we would love to read or watch your experience so please share it with us!
Thank you for reading and acting!
Love – Caleb Lake, 2019 Session 2 director